Alias: Teens Underground
by ThuhJesheekuh
Summary: Oneshot; A hopefully atypical morning in the basement hideout of the Teens Underground, a new organization created by a number of teens still loyal to the kid cause. Pairings: Kuki x Wally, Hoagie x Abby, Nigel x Lizzie, Cree x Chad, and 2 more that are


If you are not within the age group specified by the rating, I don't suggest you read this. I guarantee I'm not being overly cautious. This is basically a, well, not _typical_ morning for the Teens Underground, but it's a morning nonetheless. Have fun!

ATUGATUGATUGATUGATUGATUGATUGATUGATUGATUGATUGATUGATUGATUGATUGATUGATUG

**Alias: Teens Underground**

The Teens Underground, District 10, basement hideout was quiet. It was still early morning, and the sun just barely slanted in through the high windows on the top floors. The lower floors were below ground level and lacked windows. There were several tunnels leading out of the basement and up to the surface, but the main entrance was the cellar of the Uno residence.

District 10 of the Teens Underground, otherwise known as the TUG, was created several years ago when a large number of Kids Next Door operatives were decommissioned. Still loyal to the children, but not allowed to remain in the organization, the post pubescent youngsters created a new association, a team where they could remain semi-neutral, but present aid to the kids if requested. They also protected themselves and other teenagers from turning to or being attacked by the adults and pro-adult teenagers.

The leading teenagers in this movement were the kids of the old Sector V, namely Nigel Uno, whose home District 10's basement was located beneath, Hoagie P. Gilligan, Kuki Sanban, Wallabee "Wally" Beatles, and Abigail "Abby" Lincoln. Although these were the leading supporters, the managing hierarchy remained for the most part. For example, Fanny Fulbrite was still above them all, yet still not quite the highest rank.

A loud siren sounded through the basement in the morning, breaking the silence. Nigel leapt out of bed and quickly threw on his white t-shirt, red jacket, and khaki shorts. At sixteen years of age- seventeen in a few weeks-, he was still bald, and he still snatched his shiny black sunglasses from his bedside table, sliding them behind his ears before dashing out the door to the large control room on basement level one.

"All right, team. It's finally happened. The adults have finally made their move. They are tunneling their way here as we speak," he announced, as he walked to the podium that was perfectly reminiscent of the one he used to stand behind during debriefings at the tree house. "At present, only one team is on their way, the very elite Cree and Chad. Now, we've come up against these two before, but their attacks in recent years have remained focused on the Kids Next Door. This is the first time they've come after us since starting college, so- hey!" Nigel looked around finally and realized that the control room was empty. His team was nowhere to be found.

"Grr… where is everyone!" he shouted. A moment later he was stalking through the hallways on his way to Hoagie's room. They no longer used numbers, but old habit forced him to go to them in order of their old codenames. Hoagie used to be "Numbuh Two," the mechanical genius of the group. Now that he had three years of high school science and seventeen years of age under his belt, Hoagie's creations for the team were more sophisticated and certainly more effective.

Hoagie himself had hit his growth spurt, and with the height increase, his large girth had become more evenly dispersed. He wasn't a rail, but he wasn't chubby anymore. When he was awake, Hoagie left his light blue shirt open to expose his white t-shirt underneath, as well as brown pants. He'd finally let go of his aviator's cap, but still wore a brown hat over his brown hair in addition to his glasses with the yellow lenses.

Nigel finally reached the door to Hoagie's bedroom and didn't even bother to give it a firm knocking before barging in. He looked to the wall above him and saw that the siren's speaker had been removed. Growling loudly, he stalked over to the elevated bed, next to the only window in the room, and climbed the ladder. "The alarm is there for a reason, Hoagie," he said, reaching the top. "To wake you up when we're under attack!" he shouted, ripping the blanket from the mattress.

As the sheets fell to the floor, Nigel finished climbing and viewed the mattress. "Huh?" he blurted. Hoagie was not there. "Where is everyone!" he exclaimed, throwing his arms up in the air. A second later, he grabbed back onto the ladder as it began to fall backwards. "Whoa! Who-oa!" he cried as he tried to balance it back out, but managed only to start bouncing it around the room. Finally gravity overtook him and he fell down, landing belly-up in a pile of dirty clothes. "Pleasant…"

Nigel got up and started out of the room and down the hallway toward Kuki's room. There was no telling how long it would take until Cree and Chad got there. "Kuki! Wake up! We've got trouble!" Nigel called, opening the door to her room. Venturing into her room, he navigated around the many random leftover props and set pieces from the plays Kuki had done in the past. After growing out of rainbow monkeys, Kuki had developed a passion for theater. Now sixteen and waiting to turn seventee in about a month or so, she was still slender as a switch, and her hair still reached her waist. Kuki wore a green tank top and black capris.

"Kuki?" Nigel asked, finding her bed inside the large pumpkin coach they had used for Cinderella. He found her bed, but he did not find Kuki. "Gah! Where is everyone!" he exclaimed, kicking the cinderblock that held the coach in place, but then grabbing his foot as he cried out in pain. He hopped on one foot out of the room and slammed his fist against a red button, causing the alarm to sound again. "All right, if no one shows up and I find that Wally's not in his room either, I'm just going to head up to my house and let the adults attack."

He reached Wally's bedroom door. "Wallabee Beatles, are you in there?" he called through the door, hoping that calling him by his full name- which he hated- would arouse him more quickly. Not waiting for a response, Nigel opened the door and walked in. Wally's room was also a maze of props and set pieces, though not to the extent of Kuki's room. When Kuki had joined drama, Wally had as well, and the two were both active thespians. However, Wally also had a serving of rock and roll paraphernalia, including the guitar he played.

Wally had grown quite a bit; whereas he used to be the shortest on the team back when they were ten, he was now the tallest of the group now that he was seventeen. His blonde hair still was in a bowl cut and still covered his eyes most of the time. Of the group, his clothing had probably changed the least over the years, for he still wore an orange hoodie and baggy blue jeans.

Nigel made his way through Wally's room and finally spotted the bed. There was a large lump in the middle, and it was steadily moving up and down. "Finally! At least _someone_ is left in this basement," Nigel said, walking over to the bed. "Why didn't you come when-?" Nigel's eyes widened. "Ah… ah, ah… aaah!" he cried out when he finally made it closer to the bed.

There, lying beneath the blankets was Wally. However, what caused his eyes to widen was that lying there with her head on his chest and their arms around each other was Kuki. The thing that made him cry out though was their pajamas… or rather their lack thereof… or of any clothing for that matter. Nigel backed away slowly. "This… this can't be happening… I knew they were dating, but… but-!"

"Nigel! We came as soon as we could!" Nigel screamed when he bumped into something fleshy. Turning around he saw Abby and Hoagie. Abby hadn't changed much since she became seventeen, still wearing her red hat until she went to bed and almost always keeping her hair in its braid. She wore a blue basketball jersey and white shorts.

"Oh, guys, it's you. Thank God! Did you know that Kuki and Wally are… are… oh, my God! What the hell is wrong with you two!" Nigel demanded. Finally having gotten the full view, he saw that neither Hoagie nor Abby were wearing their usual outfits. Hoagie was standing there in his boxers without even his glasses to claim as clothing. Abby's hair was completely out of its braid, hanging loosely and, fortunately, covering her two unconstrained breasts. The only clothing she could claim was a pair of bikini-style underwear. "Are you mad? Were you… just like…?"

All three of them were tossed to the floor within the next few seconds, however, as a large drill came crashing through the wall. The device was attached to a pod that contained, unsurprisingly, Cree and Chad. "All right, Losers Underground!" Cree shouted, jumping from the cockpit of the drill. "It's over!"

Chad came out next. "Either join the adult forces, or be destroyed!" he added. Neither had changed much, except that they had finished growing. Both were adults at this point, Cree having just finished her last year of college and Chad just finishing his sophomore year.

"Glad to see you finally grew out of the training B.R.A., Chad!" Abby grinned.

"As have you apparently," Chad answered, quirking an eyebrow.

"Abby!" Cree exclaimed, eyes widening, though it was hard to tell the emotion behind it. "Did you sleep with Hoagie Gilligan?" she asked, moving her eyes over Hoagie as she moved toward Abby.

"Oh, like you and Chad waited until you were both adults," Abby rolled her eyes, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Look, officially I'm appalled at your behavior. Abstinence is the key!" Cree scolded, but the she smirked and she raised an eyebrow. "Unofficially, however, you done good, little sis. He looks just like Hank. I ain't mad atcha!" They punched their fists together.

Nigel watched this all in mild desperation. "WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU ALL! YOU'RE ALL _NAKED!_" he shouted.

Wally and Kuki had both slept through this whole exchange, but finally opened their eyes slowly and looked around. Wally's eyes widened, and he leapt out of bed. "Hey! What are all of you doing in my room!" he demanded. Everyone stared at him, finding him to be the most naked of anyone in the group. The boys stared in complete envy.

"Dude…" Chad murmured. He, Nigel, and Hoagie exchanged glances and looked down at their own crotches, laughing nervously.

"Hold on a second!" Nigel shouted suddenly, causing all eyes to turn to him. "Does no one know how to get dressed before they respond to an alarm or facilitate an attack?" He pointed to each of his teammates in turn. "And all of you! I am incredibly disappointed! What are you thinking? Nothing much against sex pre-wedlock, but pre-adulthood? I'm not one to endorse all of my parents' rules, but what would your parents think?"

"Oh, yes, I wonder, Abby," Cree chuckled.

"Don't you dare!" Abby exclaimed, Hoagie's eyes widening in panic.

"Oh, come on, Nigel. It's not like we weren't practicing safe sex," Kuki interjected.

"Yeah, I know _I_ use protection," Wally added.

"As do we," Hoagie and Abby said.

"And it's our business," Wally asserted.

"Yeah, we don't ask what happens between you and Lizzie," Hoagie pointed out.

"NIGEL UNO!" Lizzie's voice rang loud and clear through the basement.

"Speak of the devil," Hoagie nodded. Lizzie, Nigel's girlfriend, had gone through a similar transformation as that of Hoagie. When she'd hit her growth spurt, the fat had evened out, and she'd become less chubby. She wore a long blue jean skirt, yellow unbuttoned blouse, and a white t-shirt with a blue star printed in the middle. Her auburn-colored hair had become rather frizzy, so she usually wore it in but at the base of her neck.

Everyone turned to look at Lizzie when she finally made it to the doorway. "Nigel Uno, I don't care what kind of crazy alarm clock you might have, but for you to get up to turn it off and not come back? Are you getting bored? If you are, tell me. I don't have any great needs here," Lizzie spouted, and as they listened to her, they slyly looked back to Nigel, whose shirt and face could not be discerned anymore. Lizzie stood there in a bra and underwear, hair askew.

"Lovely timing, dear," he said. "May I make a suggestion?" he asked the entire party.

Everyone agreed to go back to bed with his or her respective partner for the morning and, from then on, if the assailant happened to have done the dirty, he or she would assume that there is a good possibility of their targets having done so as well. Also, if it turned out that the target had done so while the assailant had not, five minutes must be allotted to the target to clothe their selves.

How did the superiors of the involved parties feel about this?

"Well, I can live with that," Father said, turning off the monitor that watched Cree and Chad constantly… _constantly_.

"Father! Get your ass back in this bed! I can't make these Delightful Children on my own!"

Father sighed. "Yes, Mother dear."

Fanny read the sanction between the two parties and crumpled it up, tossing it over her shoulder into a waste paper basket. "Why didn't we already have a rule like that? Well, better late than never." She turned back to her bed. "All right Aoshi, Maoshi. Let's back to work," she said. Aoshi and Maoshi, formerly the Numbuhs Forty-four, sat up again.

"Ready when you are, chief," they answered in unison.

**The End**

ATUGATUGATUGATUGATUGATUGATUGATUGATUGATUGATUGATUGATUGATUGATUGATUGATUG

I love how this is the dirtiest thing I've ever written. I hope I never get the urge to do something like this again. Tell me if you liked it. Please no flames. And don't say I didn't warn you. :-P


End file.
